


Prologue - After the darkness comes the light

by Princess_Geek



Series: Unspoken Desires [1]
Category: Desire & Decorum (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Modern Era, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:54:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princess_Geek/pseuds/Princess_Geek
Summary: All her life, Beatrice Howard was told that her father had died before she was born. At the age of ten, a tragedy opens the door to truth and to a new life, full of joy, but with some thorns along the way.In this modern AU, Beatrice grows up surrounded by the characters we all love. With them, she will learn that love can take many forms and that there is no obstacle that it cannot overcome…The most important lesson, however, is that we cannot escape our desires…nor run away from what fate has chosen for us.
Series: Unspoken Desires [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1807399
Kudos: 1





	Prologue - After the darkness comes the light

**Author's Note:**

> All characters belong to Pixelberry. I only own my OC. No copyright infringement intended.  
>  English is not my first language. Please, excuse me any typos /or grammatical errors.

How do we prepare a child for our death?

Giggles were filling the air. Two little girls were playing tag, running around carefree.

Helen Howard was sitting in her small garden. She was in severe pain, in spite of the medication. However, feeling the sun in her bones gave her some comfort. That and see her daughter happy. Despite some difficult times, those have been the happiest years of her life. She used to think that having a career as a singer was her dream; nevertheless, since she found out she was pregnant, everything else seemed futile. Her little girl was smart, witty, sometimes naughty, very stubborn...but, always kind. Helen felt truly blessed. Beatrice was her biggest accomplishment, her sweetest dream...and soon, it will be over.

"How do we prepare a child for our death, Pavarti?" - Helen asked to her friend, sat next to her.

"Jesus, Helen, push that thought away!" – her friend censored her. 

They fell silent for a couple of minutes, both aware of the weight of the question. Helen absently adjusted her wig.

Pavarti got goosebumps with it. She didn't like to hear Helen talk like that. It was like she was tempting fate. However, as a mother, Pavarti understood her friend's uncertainties and felt her fears almost with the same intensity.

"Dear Pavarti, we both know how this is going to end...and that will be soon." – Helen reminded her friend, putting her hand on hers – "Beatrice is strong, I've no doubts about it, and, fortunately, she is still a child, so she will overcome it more easily ... she won't be consumed by sadness for long...and soon I will be a sweet memory of her childhood."

"I don't know how you can be so rational at this point..." - Pavarti wondered- "I'm already desperate."

"I've been spending too many sleepless nights crying, having pity on her and of myself. It's my duty as a mother prepare my child for the new life ahead of her. "

"Are sure that they will take care of her?" – Pavarti inquired. 

"If he rejects her, I know Beatrice won't be alone in this world". – Helen said looking into her friend's watery eyes – "I'm very lucky to have found you." – she said smiling.

They remained in silence for some time watching the girls playing. Meanwhile, they had sat down on the grass and started playing at "I spy". Briar was clearly better to that game.

"Are you sure that the envelope is in a safe place?" – Helen questioned.

"Yes. Briar is not tall enough to reach the spot. I was extra careful. "

Helen smiled.

"It's time." – she announced.

Pavarti nodded in in understanding

"I'll give you some privacy." – she got up and called for her daughter – "Briar, come here! Let's go inside to make some tea!"

"Mum, you can make the tea by yourself. I'm very busy playing." – Briar protested.

"Briar-Anne, don't make me count until three. One...two..."

"Ok, ok, I'm coming... -" she went unwillingly, grimacing.

"I saw that ugly face, Briar." – Pavarti warned.

Helen and Beatrice exchanged amused looks. With her heart pounding, she gestured for her daughter to come closer. She ran toward her. With an effort, she picked Beatrice up sitting her on her lap. She had grown up in the last few months. Her legs almost touched the ground by now. Helen stroked her tousled hair, then caressed her still chubby cheeks. She cradled Beatrice's face in her hands and kissed her forehead, finally setting her attention on her daughter's eyes. She never gets tired of looking at her girl's sweet hazel eyes. In fact, she wanted this to be her last thought when the time came.

"You know that I love you more than anybody or anything in the universe, don't you, cutie pie?"

"I love you too, mum."

"You know that I'd never do anything to hurt you on purpose, right?"

"Of course, mum."

"Nevertheless, this time I'll need your forgiveness, my dear. I've been lying to you for a long time."

"Mum, if you're talking about Santa Claus and Easter Bunny, I already know the truth...since 1st grade, actually. They are just Mr Fox in a suit." - Beatrice declared proud of herself.

Helen smirked. Her daughter was really something.

"Sweetie, I've not been totally honest with you about your father."

"What do you mean, mum?"

"He didn't die before you were born. He is alive...and he doesn't live far away from here.... his full name was Vincent Foredale, at time. Now, he is the current Earl of Edgewater."

Beatrice was speechless ... which was rare. She seemed to meditate deeply on it for a few seconds.

"If he is alive, why are you not together? You loved each other, didn't you?"

"We loved each other...deeply. You are the proof of it. – Helen answered stroking Beatrice's cheek - However, many things happened...things I couldn't forgive him."

Beatrice looked at her questioningly, clearly interested in more details.

"Your father had to choose between our love and his duty...and he chose his duty towards his family. To fulfil it he, married somebody else... a woman who could save his house."

"Why did the house need to be saved?

"His family was in debt, in danger of losing their property. To avoid ruin, his parents had the idea of encouraging marriage between your father and a rich widow who was a friend of the family. That's why we parted. "

"Did he know about me?"

"Your father didn't know I was pregnant, neither do I when we broke up. I found out you're coming a few weeks after it. "

"Why didn't you tell him?" - Beatrice asked.

Helen sighed. She should have anticipated these questions. Her daughter's curious nature, which filled her with pride, was making it difficult.

"Well, at first, I was angry with him, hurt...I didn't want to see him again...later, I didn't want them to think that I had gotten purposely pregnant from your father. I feared what your grandfather could do..."

"Do you think he'd hurt you?"

"I was afraid he would take you away from me and give you to adoption or interned you in boarding school as they usually do...I wanted to protect you from that, but nowadays I feel I denied you a better life...that maybe I was selfish....I'm sorry, Beatrice."

Beatrice hugged Helen. Her daughter's hug was so strong that Helen felt all the bones were being broken. However, she did not dare to complain. Despite the pain, that was the best feeling in the world.

"I'm not mad with you, mum...perhaps a little disappointed. We taught me to never lie to each other."

"I know, sweetie, I'm so sorry. I've been feeling terrible for lying to you, but now it's time to do things right. I can't forgive him, but I want you to know him...enjoy your time with him, learn from him. He made some mistakes along the way, but he has such good qualities. You'll love him, believe me, and he will take good care of you."

"Do you think he'll like me?"

"It's impossible he doesn't like you when you have so much of him." - Helen answered

Beatrice delved into her thoughts again for a moment. Helen could almost see the thoughts in Beatrice's head.

"Why are you telling me this now?" - she asked suspiciously.

Helen knew what she had to say. She had imagined that conversation many times. But now, the words were stuck in her throat.

"Mum, it's true what people say...that you're going to die? I don't want you to die." - Beatrice started to cry

Helen felt the walls of her stoicism crumble with each tear of her daughter.

"Yes... soon, I may not be with you in flesh and blood anymore, but I will always live in your heart. Remember all I've taught you, be yourself and everything will go work out in the end. I love you, sweet pie."

They cried silently for a while stroking each other's hair.

\----later that day --------

"Is there any other secret that you haven't told me?" – Beatrice asked.

Helen thought for a while and then replied:

"In fact, there is. My first name is not Helen. It's Mary. Nevertheless, a few years ago, I decided to stop using my first name and introduce myself only as Helen Howard"

"What name my father used to call you?"

"Mary. My Mary.

\---- some days later --------

The following days were a blur. She knew she was in the hospital but she had no idea for how long. She wasn't in pain, but she could barely keep her eyes open. She could hear the voices of doctors and of her friend. During what seemed an eternity, she didn't hear her little girl voice.

Then, one day, Beatrice held her hand and talked to her for hours. Her time must be close for the doctors to allow her to be there. In one last effort, she opened her eyes and gazed at her baby's face...her sweet hazel eyes.

The last thing she remembered was her daughter give her a good night kiss.

Helen Howard died that night.

From that mourning day, adult Beatrice will have only a few and diffuse memories. She'll remember that it was an unusually hot day of November. Good weather doesn't match with sad events, she'll conclude later.

She will vaguely remember the whispers of people passing by, some stroking her head and tossing a small bouquet of gardenias, her mother's favourite flowers, into the grave.

Next, the only thing she'll remember is that she woke up in her mother's bed in the next morning with Mrs Daly and Briar at the head looking at her, and feeling an immense void in her little heart

According to Mrs Daly's version, she, in the middle of the night, left the house, crossed the street, took the house key from under the vase at the entrance door, opened the door and laid down on her mother's bed.

There was no sun that morning.


End file.
